Insurance · August 17, 2023

Tips for a Successful Long-Term Care Planning Talk With Your Family

Kelly Sullivan

Manager of Life Insurance Sales, VP, First Citizens Center


Perhaps one of the hardest realizations we have as humans is that aging is inevitable. Even with this truth, we each have control over putting a plan in place that helps us and our loved ones navigate the aging process.

Creating a plan for your own or your parents' aging can seem daunting, but starting early enough and having an open dialogue can make the process go much more smoothly. Here's what should be at the core of your plan as you begin this conversation with your family.


Where to start the long-term care planning talk

As financial professionals, we often hear from clients about their struggles caring for an aging parent or grandparent. The emotional toll caregiving can take is particularly acute for those in the sandwich generation. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone in this experience.

That's why it's important to start the conversation with your family as early as possible, especially while they're in good health. If you have siblings, it's a good idea to align with them on what may be involved in your loved ones' care and how responsibilities may be divided based on your duties at home. Once you have an agreement in place, raise the topic with your aging loved one.

The conversation can—and should—also happen the other way around. Parents and grandparents can gain peace of mind by working with their children to lay out where they want to live as they age, what happens in case of a medical event and how they'll finance these plans.

Talking about aging and the plans surrounding it is a particularly sensitive topic for many, regardless of whether children or parents bring it up. Some general guidelines on starting the conversation include writing down notes to help you frame your plan and practicing active listening during the discussion.

Document a long-term care plan

Once you've broken the ice on long-term care planning, there are some specific questions you'll want to answer with your loved ones. This can lead to a longer conversation that involves consulting with your financial professional to determine the best way to fund these long-term care plans.

Make sure to document these conversations to help create your plan on how loved ones want to live out their lives. Your plan should also include:

  • The type of caregiving and costs associated with each: Is their home safe to age in place, or should they move? Would they rather go to a facility or have at-home care? What type of care might they need in case of a drastic health event?
  • Cost breakdown of each scenario: Consider creating a multi-step plan involving how aging family members want to live both now and when a certain threshold is met. Each part of the plan should have an estimated cost associated with it, which you can explore in Genworth's Cost of Care Survey.
  • Your loved ones' financial situation and your role: How much are they receiving from Medicare or veterans' benefits? How much could be pulled from their retirement plan to fund a long-term care plan? What types of tax benefits are available if their care needs change?

Gather the right documents

Another important step in the long-term care planning process is gathering relevant documents. Keep originals in a safe place like a fireproof box, and make digital or paper copies for family members who'll need to eventually execute on the established long-term care plan.

Key documents to collect from aging loved ones include:

  • Birth certificate
  • Marriage certificate
  • Divorce decree
  • Citizenship papers
  • Death certificate of a spouse or parent
  • Powers of attorney
  • Property deeds
  • Deeds to cemetery plots
  • Military discharge papers
  • Insurance policies
  • Pension benefits
  • Medical records
  • Insurance policies—including life insurance and long-term care policies

Meet the professionals in your loved ones' lives

It's also crucial to meet the professionals your aging family members interact with on a regular basis, especially while they're still active in their own affairs. Get to know their financial advisor or planner, CPA or tax advisor, estate or family attorney, and healthcare professionals.

When you talk to their healthcare team, be sure to complete the required paperwork to be able to view and discuss medical records. This way, you'll be able to fully attend future medical appointments with aging family members if needed.

Consider a long-term care insurance policy

If you're early enough in the planning process with aging relatives, you may want to consider long-term care insurance. Incorporating this type of policy into your family's plan can help parents and grandparents age in the location they want while knowing it fits into their overall financial plan. It can also help ease the financial burden on adult children and other family caregivers.

The bottom line

Caring for an aging loved one can be an emotional roller coaster. While long-term care planning can't completely erase these feelings, having an established plan can help ease the challenges when navigating these inevitable changes. Establish open lines of communication with your family so you can plan before a crisis hits.

To learn more about planning for your family's long-term care, get in touch with a First Citizens Wealth Consultant.

This material is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be an offer, specific investment strategy, recommendation or solicitation to purchase or sell any security or insurance product, and should not be construed as legal, tax or accounting advice. Please consult with your legal or tax advisor regarding the particular facts and circumstances of your situation prior to making any financial decision. While we believe that the information presented is from reliable sources, we do not represent, warrant or guarantee that it is accurate or complete.

Third parties mentioned are not affiliated with First-Citizens Bank & Trust Company.

Links to third-party websites may have a privacy policy different from First Citizens Bank and may provide less security than this website. First Citizens Bank and its affiliates are not responsible for the products, services and content on any third-party website.

First Citizens Insurance Services offers insurance products only in the states that the insurance agency and its agents are insurance licensed. Therefore, this product is not available in all states.

Your investments in securities and insurance products and services are not insured by the FDIC or any other federal government agency and may lose value.  They are not deposits or other obligations of, or guaranteed by any bank or bank affiliate and are subject to investment risks, including possible loss of the principal amounts invested. There is no guarantee that a strategy will achieve its objective.

About the Entities, Brands and Services Offered: First Citizens Wealth™ (FCW) is a marketing brand of First Citizens BancShares, Inc., a bank holding company. The following affiliates of First Citizens BancShares are the entities through which FCW products are offered. Brokerage products and services are offered through First Citizens Investor Services, Inc. ("FCIS"), a registered broker-dealer, Member FINRA and SIPC. Advisory services are offered through FCIS, First Citizens Asset Management, Inc. and SVB Wealth LLC, all SEC registered investment advisors. Certain brokerage and advisory products and services may not be available from all investment professionals, in all jurisdictions or to all investors. Insurance products and services are offered through FCIS, a licensed insurance agency. Banking, lending, trust products and services, and certain insurance products and services are offered by First-Citizens Bank & Trust Company, Member FDIC, and an Equal Housing Lender, and SVB, a division of First-Citizens Bank & Trust Company. icon: sys-ehl

All loans provided by First-Citizens Bank & Trust Company and Silicon Valley Bank are subject to underwriting, credit and collateral approval. Financing availability may vary by state. Restrictions may apply. All information contained herein is for informational purposes only and no guarantee is expressed or implied. Rates, terms, programs and underwriting policies are subject to change without notice. This is not a commitment to lend. Terms and conditions apply. NMLSR ID 503941

For more information about FCIS, FCAM or SVBW and its investment professionals, click the links below:

FirstCitizens.com/Wealth/Disclosures

SVB.com/Private-Bank/Disclosures/Form-ADV

See more about First Citizens Investor Services, Inc. and our investment professionals at FINRA BrokerCheck.